There was a time, before the introduction of anaesthesia, when surgeons had to be faster than light, and surgical operations were lasting few minutes at most. Robert ListonThis wasn’t always easy or pleasurable, and cases are reported where, due to the excesses of a not very careful surgeon, the mortality rate for the procedure was calculated as 300% (the patient, the assistant, and an innocent bystander…). The title of fastest surgeon of all times is generally credited to the Scottish Robert Liston, who on December 21,1846 performed a thigh amputation in 25 seconds from the first cut to the last stitch. Before a procedure, Liston would always address the crowd watching in theatre with the words: “Time me, gentlemen, time me!” (more about the historical amputation performed by Robert Liston can be found here).

Fast forward more than 150 years after the introduction of anaesthesia and longer surgical procedures and you will find out that, at least in commercial cosmetic surgery, fast surgeons are back and trendy again. The normal duration of a breast enlargement used to be, till few years ago, between one and two hours. Most surgeons working for the big cosmetic companies are now taking less than 30 minutes for the same procedure, and few ‘stars’ may enlarge your breasts in just under nine minutes.

Why is this happening? The most important reason is that companies want to use the operating theatre (a fixed cost for most of them) as much as possible. Then, you should never forget how much the surgeons are paid, because they increasingly need to rely on huge volumes of patients to make a decent living (and pay their insurance costs…). On a normal day, the few fastest surgeons can operate on 15-16 patients in about 12 hours. Considering that it takes about 25 minutes to move a patient out of theatre at the end of a procedure, and to put the next one to sleep ready for the knife, if the surgeon is operating 15 patients, 6 hours and 15 minutes are spent moving patients, and 5 hours 45 minutes doing the actual operations, with an average of 23 minutes per operation. Keep in mind that this rough calculation doesn’t include the time that the surgeon has to spend writing notes and talking to patients before the procedure (normally few seconds just to get their consent…), or a lunch break. No wonder some of the ‘star surgeons’ are beginning to use the same words that Liston used: “Time me, nurses, time me!”, in a theatre where nobody but few astonished nurses can watch them…

Just one final question for you at the end of the story, anyway: is this treatment what you wanted when you paid your cosmetic surgery company? (I mean: are you sure you like the idea of a surgeon that works 12 hours without stopping, and that doesn’t have time to talk to you?).

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